The Middle Path: A Tool to Consistency and Growth

I work with clients to explore connection through a trauma-informed lens, helping them build relationships and create change that is both healthy and meaningful. A significant part of this work involves unpacking codependent or unhealthy beliefs and behaviors.

Many clients are surprised to discover that, even after changing their behaviors, their automatic thoughts don’t always shift as quickly. And sometimes that little voice stays around forever. Wanna know a secret? You can hear it, without listening to it.

It’s common to feel challenged when, after a season of "being healthy," those old thought patterns resurface. In these moments, I remind my clients about the importance of finding and leaning into the Middle Path. This concept can serve as an anchor during times of uncertainty or when they feel out of control.

Change is not a one-and-done event—it’s an ongoing process, an active choice we make every day. It’s important to recognize that having a thought, even one that feels like the old you, doesn’t erase the progress made.

The Middle Path encourages us to find balance between extremes, acknowledging our feelings while choosing to be intentional.

We often know how we want to respond, how we need to respond, and how we should respond. The answer typically lies somewhere in the center. This gentle yet firm reminder allows us to hold space for both our growth and our humanity, recognizing that healing is a journey, not a destination.

What is the “Middle Path”?

The “Middle Path” is a concept from mindfulness and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) that helps us navigate the space between two extremes. Imagine it as a spectrum or a line. There’s point A, point C, and the often-hidden middle ground (point B).

Here are a few examples to help you better understand this concept:

Connection Example

• Point A: Feeling insecure in relationships, constantly seeking reassurance, or needing connection to feel safe.

• Point C: Avoiding connection entirely, withdrawing to avoid vulnerability, and relying solely on yourself to prevent rejection or hurt.

• Middle Path (B): Finding a balance between autonomy and closeness. You can stay open to connection and support while maintaining your individuality and honoring your own boundaries.

Parenting Example

• Point A: Believing you’ve failed when your child struggles or doesn’t meet expectations, taking it as a reflection of your abilities.

• Point C: Ignoring the struggle or discomfort, assuming it will resolve itself without intentional effort.

• Middle Path (B): Holding space for both self-reflection and acceptance. “It’s okay for both of us to feel stretched right now. I can support my child while learning new ways to connect and adapt as we navigate this together.”

Career, School, or New Hobby Example

• Point A: Doubting yourself or your abilities: “What if I’m not good enough? What if this was the wrong choice?”

• Point C: Minimizing or dismissing your emotions: “I should have this figured out by now—why is this so hard?”

• Middle Path (B): Acknowledging the mixed emotions of starting something new. “It’s natural to feel unsure or scared during this transition. I can let myself feel those things while focusing on learning and trusting that growth takes time.”

The key component in making the Middle Path tool work for you is to observe, recognize, and continue to move through it—don’t get stuck!

For more discussion or information on this topic or any of my previous topics, please reach out. You are not in this alone.

Be Well,

Megan Rowe, M.Ed., LPC

Current Reads:

• Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend